Low Libido Post Pregnancy is common and NORMAL. Your body has just gone through an incredible transformation. You have conceived and grown another human being, you have delivered that baby and are now on the other side - another brand-new learning curve. Let's take a look at how Chinese Medicine views the Post-natal Woman and what is going on in her body to explain a low libido.
Low Libido Post Pregnancy: What's actually LOW in Post-Natal Women
Qi & Blood - Chinese Medicine views Pregnancy and the Post-Natal state, as a significant challenge to your energy and blood reserves, so this should be the first thing to address once baby has arrived. Post-natal women are often 'Qi & Blood Deficient' which is TCM speak for tired and exhausted - sound familiar? YES!
Kidney - This is the source of your reproductive energy, so it's been drawn on a lot in the months during your Pre-conception, Pregnancy and Labouring phases. In Naturopathic medicine, this is the same as your Adrenals. So Adrenal exhaustion can be seen a lot in Post-Natal Women. They're not getting much sleep and feel on-alert constantly. Your sex drive or libido is fueled by your Kidney energy reservoir as well. So does it make sense, when you've used your Kidney energy, there isn't much to spare for sexual drive?
Heart - Your mental/emotional aspect, The Heart energy is an important part of sexual desire. Likened to the stress, and mental block to arousal that Western Medicine talks about, the Heart must be addressed in any Chinese Medicine treatment of Low Libido Post Pregnancy.
You can read more about Chinese Medicine's Post Natal Support strategies here:
4 Reasons Bone Broth is Gold for your Fertility
How to recover quickly when you've had a C-Section
Challenges facing women on Maternity Leave
Also: Acupuncture, Chinese Herbs, Yoga, Massage, Pilates are all fantastic ways to help build your strength up again when you're experiencing Low Libido Post Pregnancy.
Recently I had a client come in when her daughter was 9 months old and complaining of a "low libido". When I asked her "Did you feel like having sex?", she said, "Not really, I'm too tired."
THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL!!
It's the same with Men with Low Libido. It starts with the Mind and the Body follows. If they're not genuinely into it, mentally stimulated by it or turned on, things don't work. Same rules apply to women. Sexual drive is initiated by a mental arousal.
[perfectpullquote align="full" cite="" link="" color="" class="" size=""]Do you feel like having sex? Maybe not. Is that ok? Absolutely YES.[/perfectpullquote]
Physical reasons you may have Low Libido Post Pregnancy and don't want to have Sex:
- Episiotomy healing
- Vaginal tearing
- You can't feel much sensation in your vagina soon after birth
- Sex is painful
- You are physically exhausted in general
- Add into that sleep deprivation - survival is a priority; food, water, sleep!
What to do about it: With recovery from birthing or surgeries, wait the recovery time out. You need to heal, respect that.
If Sex is painful, I would recommend a Chinese Herbal product: Sun Ten China Med - Motherhood FT-2 formula
If you're exhausted and sleep deprived - take more naps, catch up your sleep when you can and work with an Acupuncturist or Chinese Herbalist to boost your reserves again.
Mental & Emotional reasons you may have Low Libido Post Pregnancy:
- You had a traumatic Labour and haven't dealt with those thoughts and feelings yet.
- You feel unattractive to your partner (subjective feeling)
- You feel your sexual anatomy is unattractive to your partner.
- You don't feel connected to your partner emotionally, right now.
- You don't want to have sex, full stop.
- You have had past trauma around sex.
What to do about it: Absolutely seek counselling for any past sexual trauma or birth trauma by a Registered Psychologist, you need help to process and cope with these issues.
If you're Feeling unattractive to your partner, I would also highly recommend seeking counselling support - as this could be a Body Dysmorphia (negative perception of your body) that is unrealistic. Giving yourself more time to seek counselling and wait until you feel more confident about your body will help too.
Loss of connection with your partner can be a temporary thing, but if you don't ever get back in the bedroom even after a year, with all other signs that your relationship is healthy, loving and positive, I would seek counselling to discover what the block or resistance is. Speaking your mind and expressing your feelings and possibly your partner's feelings in couples counselling is important. Having a baby is a HUGE thing and the dynamics have changed. Help yourselves process this new phase in your lives. I recommend this Registered Psychologist if you're on the Northern Beaches.
Chinese Herbs such as Sun Ten China Med - Calm the Spirit formula can be additional support to the Heart energy and issues around anxiety or fear. Acupuncture can also calm the nervous system.
Make sure you're putting your needs first. The baby is relying on you constantly, you're getting to know your child and bonding with them. You're possibly breastfeeding. A LOT is happening. Making sure you recover fully and completely from your birth experience is vital.
It's True. In the bigger picture, Sex is important too, to maintain a good intimate connection with your partner.[perfectpullquote align="full" cite="" link="" color="" class="" size=""] But to be frank, if your partner loves and supports you no matter what, they will want you to do what is best for you. They will understand.[/perfectpullquote]
They CAN wait and WILL wait until YOU'RE READY to have sex again.
For Traditional Chinese Medicine support from me via appointments, email me here: info@springfertility.com.au
